The Day I Met Grief

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I reflect on that day
Where I witnessed the most profound marriage
The one between beauty and tragedy
On that wet July morning
When my most tragic physical loss
Joined in unison with my greatest spiritual gift
It hummed in a wise peace
As it taught me about this foreign feeling
And called itself grief
I’ve been its student for years now
But I find myself still sitting in its classroom everyday
Its lessons come to me in waves
Some days the water is so still
That when I float atop
The water that seeps into my ears
Is filled with moments and memories
I swear I can feel the warmth of his arms around me
The strong beat of his heart against my little head
Our breaths and energies in quiet unison
Or the gentle whispers he gifts me from above
The ones where each inch of my heart
Is slowly taken over by a love so tangible
I spin around expecting the ability to leap into his arms
I live in those moments
Because they are fleeting
Much like when the tides turn
And the waves envelop me
Some days I swear they are unapologetic
In their attempts to drown me
And the more I fight
The more vicious they get
These days I’ve learned to surrender
Allowing myself to drown beneath
Because these moments transport me back in time
To the moments where I stand before his hospital bed
Each hand laced with those of each of my sisters
Where I hear the nurse’s voice project until I shake
To pronounce his death
Where I feel the most unfathomable pain inch out from my center
Like a ravaging darkness
Encompassing every bit of light within me
Grief knows no time
It did not comb through my calendar
And neatly pencil itself in per my convenience
It did not caress my mind with empty promises
The ones that tell you it gets easier
And that the waves eventually die down
And the emptiness will be filled once again
It did not sell me the lies
That I would one day master it
And forever get to float atop its serene mass
Of blissful moments and memories
No, it just built me strong enough
To weather the storms

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6 Comments Add yours

    1. Thank you kindly! 🙏🏻

      Like

  1. This is such a wonderful post! So beautifully written with imagery and intimacy! Bravo!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for reading & for your kind words! 🙏🏻

      Like

  2. A very authentic and relatable poem with rich imagery. Well done.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much! 😊

      Liked by 1 person

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